In a previous post, I mentioned that we had never really planned or discussed the idea of me being a stay-at-home mom. The truth is that we never thought that we would be parents; we had come to accept that as fact. We both had careers that we enjoyed, and we were living the life we had. That sure changed and we decided we needed to learn how to manage without two incomes.
We Adapted to Life
My being at home has given us many opportunities that we would have never had if we both had been working and the kids going to daycare or school. When work has sent my husband to training classes in Pennsylvania, Ohio, and twice to Texas, we tagged along and used them for educational and tourist trips.
We’ve taken random off-season trips to our favorite vacation spots, and since we live close to the Smoky Mountains, we take trips during the week rather than the busy weekends. We’ve done projects and upgrades to our homes that we would not have had the time or energy to do if we worked the traditional 9-5. We likely would have hired out many things had we both been working that we have done together as a family by us deciding that I stay at home.
If you find yourself in that place of trying to decide what the expenses are and if you can make your budget work if you lose part or all of one income, count the real cost. Ask challenging questions – how much do I spend on clothes, how much do I spend on lunch, the commute to work, how much does daycare cost?
Those are the common questions, right? What about other issues like- how much can we save if we mow the yard, wash our vehicles, do our mulching/landscaping, make coffee at home, do our house cleaning, cut back on cleaning and beauty products? What subscriptions or memberships can we drop that will save us money? Dig deep into your budget, look at every expense to see what can save you money.
Can We Live on One Income?
I was making approximately 40% of our income, not including that I was the insurance carrier. Still, it was worth my staying home rather than sending our baby to a sitter or daycare.
The benefits far outweighed the income! We got more quality time together as a family. Our baby wasn’t coming home sick from exposure to viruses in daycare, and we had child care covered if they did get sick. We had more flexible time for trips. I had more available time to clean our home, do laundry, grocery shopping, and cook. I’m going to be very real here – I’ve always been an avid reader, so that did happen a lot those first few years too!
The other advantage of staying home was that it allowed me to learn more about what interested me. I have learned more about gardening, though we had a garden the first few years that we were married. However, we grew a more extensive garden with more available time, and we learned to preserve our food. At one point, we had enough food from our garden preserved to make it a full year.
I found gamma lids with large buckets to safely keep things like oatmeal, dried beans, and grains. Eating healthy has always been important to us, and learning more about nutrition became a large part of our days and our diet.
Reflecting and Asking the Hard Questions
As of June 2021, I will have been home for 20 years. I am sure I never thought I would be home that long! I had worked from the time I was 17 until I was 30.
Have we lost income? Do we have as much saved as we could have? Are we as prepared for retirement as we could have been? – Yes, I suppose you could say we have lost income, but life is unpredictable, and who knows what “might have been?”
No, we probably haven’t saved as much as we would have liked, but due to our hobbies and our love for DIY, we haven’t done poorly either.
Retirement is one of my current “hot spots,” and I have goals set. Will we have as much as we could have? No, no way! However, the years we have had with our children are years we could never have gotten back, and the time we have spent with them as they were growing and learning does not have a dollar value.
If you are looking to become a stay-at-home parent or have need to reduce your work hours, I hope that I have encouraged you to do so. It may take some creativity, it may take changing some of your current habits, and it may even take changing your lifestyle.
Doing something that gives your family more time to spend together or more time to pursue the things you love is possible. Start by completing a financial health check up. Work your budget and find the money to help you live a life you enjoy, making you wake up ready to live a full life daily. When you feel ready please consider sitting down to a free consultation call with me via zoom.