Do you recall your biggest dream as a child?
Have you accomplished that dream?
I was recently reflecting on the things that my husband and I have accomplished since we married in 1990. I realized that we had accomplished my biggest dream several times over!
As a teenage girl riding on a school bus, we passed by a cape cod home being built in the small Southwest VA town where I attended school. I would watch the workers every day as the bus passed and dream of someday owning a house like the one being built.
When we married in 1990, we bought a small bungalow that we could afford. We purchased the house for $32,000 in 1990. We were on track to have the home paid off one month after we sold the home. It sold in the spring of 2022 for $150,000. I took my children to the house in 2017, and I’ve seen pictures of when it was most recently for sale. The most that has been done to the interior was the six years we owned the house.

In 1996 we started on a journey I never dreamed would become a reality.
We built our own home. It was a large home – a dream big home – more than we needed home – It Was A Cape Cod! When we moved in, we barely had $300 in the bank! We had taken out a mortgage larger than we intended, $80,000. That was more than either of us had ever planned to borrow. Our dreams were bigger than our budget. We had two incomes, steady jobs, and great insurance at the time.

We settled in and got to business in paying off the mortgage. That worked great for almost four years. Then, after ten years of marriage, something completely unexpected happened. The child we had been told would medically not happen was on her way in June of 2001. We knew we wanted me to be home with our baby, but I was bringing home 45% of the income.
We Knew We would need to Change our Spending Habits Radically.
We sold the house in 2002, and we had a dream of buying land. That dream didn’t exactly happen in 2002. We purchased 1.75 acres and built another house, again more than we needed. This is where it got a bit crazy. While we were building, my husband had a retirement account that needed to be moved. I (the spender!) got this great idea to cash the account out to prevent borrowing any more money than needed on the new build. Besides, he wanted a basement and all brick. That wasn’t in the original budget. As the spender, it was my job to find a way to make it work! (Old Mindset)

I’ll take you through the math – because I still say this is probably #1 the Dumbest Thing I Ever Did with Money. Besides buying designer clothes, shoes, and purses that I couldn’t afford!
$30,000 subtract taxes and 10% penalties, and 10% tithes. This left us with less than $18,000! When I do the calculations, comparing to our current investments, that $30,000 left alone and never added to could have been over $100,000 today. Smack me with a 2×4!!! Hard Lesson Learned! The bright spot is our children will know how to make better financial decisions.
Perseverance and Learning New Habits with Money
We’ve since sold the second build and currently live in the third home that we’ve built with CASH. We’ve also flipped several homes through the years. The smell of fresh lumber is addictive to me. My mind starts planning and dreaming every time I walk into a lumber store!

It took so long to realize that I had been planning and dreaming of the first build for nearly ten years. As a teen, the seed was planted. It took a lot of learning, an understanding of what I wanted the outcome to be, and a lot of hard work.
It wasn’t the television build or flip shows where it’s done and is portrayed as 30 days. It was long nights, sometimes bitterly cold, other times so hot the dust rolled with the sweat. Weekends spent working when I wanted to be at the beach or in the mountains. An uncomfortable that I was willing to make to see my dream come true.
Sometimes, it felt like my husband, and I were business partners instead of marriage partners. It was working with contractors who didn’t always respect or value my opinions or wants in the project. It was fighting for what I knew I wanted, fighting for a dream that, at 16-17 years old, I never expected actually to happen.
Finances Can Seem Scary and Overwhelming
I share this journey because sometimes dreams seem impossible. It can feel like you are struggling to make ends meet, and life doesn’t allow for goals. But what I know to be true is that if you have a dream worth fighting for, when you truly determine in your heart it will happen, you will give it everything you’ve got. You will make a way no matter what you have to sacrifice.
Most often, the sacrifice is for a season. It’s not forever.
The new car no longer matters. The designer handbag, a closet full of clothes and shoes, or dining out multiple times a week is unimportant. You have a goal and are determined to make it a reality. Maybe your dream is not to build a house. I get it; it’s tough and requires a lot of dedication. Maybe your dream is a second home at your favorite vacation spot. To help your kids through college or pay off your student loans. Perhaps it’s to be a stay-at-home mom and be there for your children daily. We each have a set of goals that are important to us.
I would encourage you to take 30 minutes or more to dream.
Sit quietly, maybe even write it out.
What is that longing, deep dream that seems like it can never happen?
What is preventing it?
What changes would need to be made to see it come to fruition?
Have you ever discussed it with your spouse?
Have you ever shared it with your children?
I would love to know your thoughts. I would be thrilled if you would share it with me!
I’m always here to help you talk through those dreams and help you create a plan for what needs to happen.
You can accomplish your dreams. Let me know how I can help!