I asked my girl to grab a blanket from a closet in the wee hours this morning.
She took me down memory lane instead.
She found a favorite blanket from her childhood. I pulled out a tote full of memories. Although, by no means am I a hoarder or keeper, to still be here means they’re treasures. I’ve tossed, donated, or sold many things through the years. A couple of totes hold most of the precious memories of our lives.
A blanket top that my Granny made from my Mom’s maternity clothes, the first outfits my babies wore, their favorite items as toddlers, treasures from the threads of our lives…
Then there are these shirts.
The ones we wore the day we began our lives together.
These shirts are the shirts we wore the day we were married.
Can you believe the size of these shirts??? In today’s sizes, it looks like I was wearing children’s clothes!
I decided to share our story. We were 19 and 25, starting our married life with very little. I married a man who works hard and has always taken extremely good care of our children and me.
This story is our beginning.
It was a Thursday evening, and Tim had just gotten into town from a day of work. He worked 10-hour days and had over a one-hour drive to work. At 7:20 that evening, we were at a preacher’s house accompanied by his brother and pledged our lives to one another.
The old house was by the creek and had seen many hard days. The inside wasn’t fancy. It was dimly lit at best.
But, it had no bearing on what our future would be.
There wasn’t a fancy wedding, bridesmaids, or groomsmen. We decided that we would prefer to invest in a home and our future instead of spending hundreds of dollars on a wedding. So there are no wedding pictures to look back on, no cake, and no throwing a bouquet.
We did take a 3-day trip to the beach – my first time seeing the ocean. Unfortunately, I almost forgot to take my glasses; for someone with a -3.5 vision at the time, that would have been sad. But, it tells the excitement of my day.
About six weeks before the day we married, we bought a small little house facing the local airport. The house was maybe 900-1000 sq ft and about 50 years old. It was an exciting adventure for us both, one we had looked forward to for several years. We had purchased enough furniture to make a home for $1,000. It wasn’t fancy, but it was ours, and we didn’t owe for furniture. It was not fancy beginnings.
In May, we will celebrate 33 years of marriage. I can honestly say that we love each other more today than we did then. We’ve been through a lot of life. The two things that have always been there are God and each other. We have always discussed our dreams, finances, family matters, and parenting.
Those are the foundations that I believe create a strong and healthy marriage.
I didn’t say we had never disagreed. My husband married a strong-headed woman full of opinions. He is laid back, easygoing, and wants to see his family happy. He also enjoys a good home-cooked meal!
As we head into wedding season, I reflect on marriage and what is important. I know that our priorities are not the same as most. One major focus has been keeping the debt stress out of our marriage. Our goal over the last five years has been to help our children succeed in their futures and retire comfortably.
It doesn’t take spending thousands of dollars on a wedding to create a beautiful marriage. What it takes is two people willing to sacrifice, work hard, always put God first, and be committed to each other.
I’m not saying I don’t support people having a beautiful wedding. But, if that is a priority to them, it will be one that I will always walk through. I believe it is important to help families determine what is important to them and create a spending plan that will help keep them focused on their goals – the days, the years, and the memories made together.
Long after the wedding, the bills, and the excitement, two people are left to navigate through many decisions. Beginning life with a mountain of debt in one day can create more stress than joy for the future. However, creating a spending plan and agreeing on what is important to each other will set a foundation for a strong marriage.
You can always reach out if I can help you set goals, dream big and focus on the things that are truly important to you, your family, and your future.